Nealmahs Fostering Story
At ACS we care for children from many different cultural and faith backgrounds. Read Nealmah's fostering story as she discusses her success as a single foster parent caring for children from different backgrounds.
Fostering children from different backgrounds: Nealmah’s success story
West Midlands-based foster mum Nealmah has been fostering with ACS for the last five years and has loved her journey as a foster parent. Nealmah is a single foster mum who shares her home with her birth daughter Rowaida and her “cheeky chappy” foster son and is also a foster parent rep, providing advice and support for fellow foster parents.
We sat down with Nealmah to discuss fostering as a single Muslim woman, making decisions with your children, and caring for children from different backgrounds to your own.
Caring for children of all backgrounds
Nealmah and her daughter have recently welcomed a little boy into their home. He and Rowaida have developed a close bond, and both she and Nealmah love having him around.
“The kids adore each other. My foster son is such a character, it would be impossible to not fall in love with him. He calls Rowaida his sister, and he calls me Auntie. We find that’s a lovely way of sharing our culture.”
Cultural and religious matching can have a hugely positive impact on the whole family, but there can also be huge success in blending culture and faith – every situation is different and depends on the child and the fostering household. Nealmah explained:
“If a child needs a safe home it’s my job to care for them, whether or not we share the same background. I’ve fostered children who share my faith and children who don’t. The love I give is always the same.”
She continued: “In my community as a British Muslum, some foster parents can have concerns around whether they’ll be expected to compromise on their own beliefs if they welcome non-Muslim children, such as by allowing haram foods in their house, or that their social workers may think that they are pushing their own beliefs onto those children.”
“The reality is you get so much support from ACS and we find ways to make things work for the whole family so that everyone in our home gets their cultural needs met. It’s all about acknowledging that my foster son’s cultural needs and preferences are just as important as mine and it’s my job as foster mum to ensure his needs are being met.”
Nealmah believes that there are many benefits to living in a blended home environment where different cultures are embraced and celebrated. She said fostering children from other cultures gives you the chance to share culture, learn about other cultures, and even influence the way children will view culture and faith as they grow up. She said:
“When you see a culture first-hand, when you know and love people of that culture, it breaks down those barriers and disproves the harmful stereotypes they might hear from outside influences, such as in the media or at school. I teach my foster children that even though we are different colours and we have different beliefs, we are all are the same. I’d encourage all foster families to consider welcoming a wider range of children from different backgrounds.”
Fostering as a single woman
Fostering is a part of Nealmah’s social circle, and when her friends who are foster parents suggested that she’d be a great candidate to join them, she started doing her own research into fostering. Nealmah said:
“Friends and family have always said I’m good with children. The more I learned about just how many children need help, the more I wanted to foster. No one should ever feel alone, especially not a child. I knew that as a single person I’d have more time to give and more space in my heart to love another child.”
Nealmah encourages more single women to consider fostering as she believes they often have the right qualities to be incredible foster parents, she said:
“Single women are incredibly strong, resilient, and can provide just as much love and stability to foster children as anyone else. Fostering isn’t about having a partner, it’s about having the right qualities to provide the best foundation for your foster child. Plus, as a single woman I have a lot more time on my hands as I don’t have to run around after a man!”
Making decisions with birth children
Fostering is a family effort in Nealmah’s house; she always involves her teenage daughter, Rowaida, in big decisions. She said:
“Rowaida is an incredible role model to the children we care for. Where many foster parents turn to their partner when making big decisions like welcoming a new child into their home, I turn to Rowaida.”
“She should always have her say, as fostering is a big thing for any birth child even though she’s older now — she has to share her surroundings and my love. Even in the harder moments, Rowaida is just incredible. She has a big heart and so much empathy. She's going to be an incredibly strong and empathetic woman when she grows up.”
Start your journey
As an experienced foster parent, Nealmah has lots of wisdom to share. We asked what she’d like to say to anyone out there who is thinking about fostering for the first time.
“If you’ve been thinking about fostering, I believe you’re already capable, as you have those important qualities like selflessness and caring for others—what you need now is the knowledge to carry it through. The fostering community is so diverse, you’ll get to meet so many people from all backgrounds, see a rich variety of parenting styles and all learn from one another.”
“It doesn't matter if you're single, what colour you are, what creed you are— as long as you have a spare bedroom and you can provide a loving and caring home, you can help to change a child’s life.”
Learn more about how to become a foster parent
Join Nealmah in changing children’s lives
Here at ACS, we encourage people from all backgrounds to consider becoming foster parents. If you think you could make a difference to a child’s life by offering them love and a safe place to call home.