Our self-care guide for foster families
Self-care is important for everyone, no matter your lifestyle, age or background. This Mental Health Awareness Week, we’re sharing our top self-care tips for foster parents and their families.
Self-care— why does it matter?
Self-care, where we take steps to look after or physical, spiritual, emotional and mental health, is important for everyone, no matter our age or background. As a foster parent, you’re always prioritising your child’s needs, but it’s important to remember to care for your own needs, too.
Making time for self-care isn’t about putting your own needs above those of the people around you—it’s about making sure they’re factored in and not neglected. By making time to care for yourself in the best way you can, you’re ensuring that you can give your best to the children you love and care for.
Self-care strategies can also be very helpful for children. Foster parents can support the children they care for by teaching them self-care methods. From encouraging children to take part in physical exercise to teaching them how to care for their emotional needs, teaching self-care skills from a young age encourages children and young people to be more independent, and can contribute towards improved happiness overall.
Let’s discover some self-care tips tailored to each member of your household.
3 Self-care tips for foster parents
- Nurture your relationships. Fostering is a busy lifestyle, and when we’re busy, it can be difficult to find the time to properly nurture our relationships. Dedicate time to your loved ones while fostering, such as by asking a friend who has been approved by ACS to babysit while you enjoy a date night with your partner, or volunteering at your place of worship with your extended family.
You could also set aside time each week where you’ll enjoy some screen-free family time, such as having a movie night or games night. These help to create plesant family memories, and are great opportunities to deepen your bond with your foster children and other family members.
- Take some time for yourself. Sometimes those in caring roles may mistake taking time for self-care for selfishness. This couldn’t be further from the truth. As celebrity self-care advocate Katie Piper said, when caring for others becomes a big part of your identity, “you can wrongly associate doing stuff for yourself as a privilege or luxury, and it shouldn't be. It should be an important part of refill and reset so that you can carry on giving.”
Whether it’s getting in some time at the gym, indulging in your hobbies, making time for a coffee date with a good book while the kids are at school or making the most of your optional [X] days of respite care, you should never feel guilty about taking some time to focus on your own needs.
- Join your local ACS support group. When times get hard, don’t face them alone. Here at ACS we host regular support groups for our foster parents. You’ll have the opportunity to make friends, share stories and learn from one another. Having friends who understand what you’re going through can be a huge benefit. The additional support we offer includes family days out, a 24/7 advice line and a generous fostering allowance.
3 Self-care tips for foster children
- Teach your foster children healthy ways of dealing with their emotions. During your foster parent training, you’ll learn many healthy methods to help children regulate their emotions. These include learning to label their emotions and choosing healthy outlets for feelings of anger and frustration, such as getting active and talking through their feelings with an adult. With patience and close guidance, you can support your foster child’s ability to feel safe and calm even when difficult emotions arise.
- Encourage positive self-talk. Your foster children may have grown up in an environment where they absorbed upsetting beliefs about themselves, such as believing that they are ‘naughty’ or that nobody wants them around. These beliefs can be hard to break, even into adulthood.
You can help your foster child to change these thought patterns by helping them to challenge negative thoughts when they arise, praising them for their unique strengths and by encouraging them to engage in positive self-talk. Treating ourselves more kindly can lead to better overall happiness and can help to increase your foster child’s self-esteem and sense of their identity.
- Access therapeutic support. Children in foster care have all experienced Adverse Childhood Experiences, whether that’s being separated from their parents, experiencing neglect or facing other forms of abuse. Many care-experienced children live with the effects of trauma. Trauma can impact a child’s behaviour, development and ability to regulate their emotions in a healthy way.
Through ACS and the support of your foster child’s Local Authority social worker, your foster child will be able to access specialist support with a therapist which is tailored to their unique needs. Accessing this support can be invaluable in improving your child’s overall wellbeing. Check out our kids hub to access more support for your foster children.
3 Self-care tips for birth children in foster families
- Spend some quality time together. It’s a big adjustment when you begin fostering as a family, and it’s important that you ensure that your own children continue to receive as much time and attention at home as your foster children. Be sure to set aside time together which is dedicated to your birth children, such as by attending their sports games, sitting down to do homework together or taking them out for the day to do something which they love.
- Teach your child how to set boundaries. Having a good understanding of healthy boundary-setting is an essential skill which your child can take into adulthood. This skill can be very beneficial for children in foster families. Teach your children how to set boundaries around their personal space, their bedroom and how and if they will share the items they own with their foster siblings.
Having clear expectations in the form of boundaries can help your children to feel more secure while fostering, and encourages them to feel confident in speaking up if they feel something is not fair at home.
- Support your child in making friends with other children who foster. When your family fosters, there will be plenty of opportunities to make friends with other families who do the same. Socialising is one of the biggest ways to care for our mental health, and having friends who can empathise with our unique experiences can be a huge help. Here at ACS we host regular events for our fostering families, including family fun days where all of your children can relax, make new friends and have fun.
Know when to seek extra support
If you or a child in your care is struggling with their mental health, don’t hesitate to contact your GP, social workers and fostering agency for help. You can also find resources in your area via the Hub of Hope, a database which helps over 300,000 people in the UK to access mental health support each year.
Could you foster with ACS?
Here at ACS, we do all we can to take great care of our foster families. We specialise in matching children with families who share their religious, ethnic or cultural background. If you’re considering fostering with an agency who truly cares for your family, contact our team to learn more about becoming an ACS foster parent, or consider transferring to us today.
