Bandi Chhor Divas is a Sikh celebration that takes place on the new moon (Amavasya) of the month of Kartik, which typically falls in October or November.
Bandi Chhor Divas is often compared to Diwali celebrations due to the similar festivities that take place on the day, such as lighting candles, setting off fireworks, and sharing sweets. However, the meaning is different for the Sikhs.
Why is Bandi Chhor Divas an important celebration in the Sikh calendar?
Bandi Chhor Divas commemorates the release of the sixth Guru, Guru Hargobind Ji, from imprisonment along with 52 Hindu kings and represents “the day of liberation.”
On this day, Gurdwaras (places of Sikh worship) are brightly illuminated with candles and lights, and people gather to offer prayers, listen to hymns, and reflect on the values of freedom and justice.
At the Golden Temple in Amritsar, a grand celebration takes place with fireworks, lamps, and thousands of devotees. Families also come together to share festive meals and sweets, celebrating both the spiritual and historical significance of the occasion.
Things to consider when celebrating Bandi Chhor Divas with your foster children
At ACS, we strongly believe it’s crucial for children in care to feel close to their religion and culture. From our experience, the best outcomes happen when a child lives with a family that knows, understands, and respects their religious and cultural needs.
Celebrating Bandi Chhor Divas with Sikh children in your care can be a way to do that; however, there are a few things to consider:
They might not have celebrated it before
Some children in care might be too young to remember Bandi Chhor Divas celebrations or may have never celebrated it with their family.
Here are some ways you can involve children and young people in celebrations:
- If you foster a young child, you can share the story of Guru Hargobind Ji using picture books or short animated videos to help them understand the message of bravery and helping others.
- Together, you can light a few candles and encourage the children to help decorate your home with colourful lights or paper lanterns.
- Listening to kirtan can be a calming way to bring in the spiritual aspect.
- You can also involve children in small acts of kindness, such as sharing sweets or helping to prepare food to donate, teaching them the values of generosity and compassion in a hands-on way.
It might not be a happy time for them
During Bandi Chhor Divas, foster children may experience a deep sense of homesickness as the celebrations can remind them of their own family traditions and time spent with their loved ones.
While the lights, food, and festive atmosphere can be joyful, they might also trigger feelings of loss or separation. Some children may struggle to verbalise these emotions, communicating them through their behaviour instead. They may express big feelings or become withdrawn during holiday events.
As a foster parent, it’s essential to look beyond their behaviour to understand what’s really going on for the child. You can then tailor celebrations to ensure the child in your care continues to feel understood, valued, and supported during this meaningful time.
Helping your foster child navigate difficult emotions during celebrations
If your foster child finds celebration times overwhelming or upsetting, there are several gentle ways you can support them:
- Involve them in the planning. Give them a say in how your family celebrates. Let them help choose decorations, songs, or food; even small decisions can help them feel a sense of control and belonging.
- Create a safe space. Let them know it’s okay to take a break from the celebrations whenever they need to. This could be a quiet room where they can rest, listen to music, or simply have time to themselves.
- Use a “safe word.” Together, agree on a simple word or signal they can use if they begin to feel overwhelmed. This lets you quietly step in to give them comfort or space without drawing attention.
- Prepare for visitors. If you’re hosting guests, talk to them beforehand about how the day might go and who will be attending. Reassure them that they can choose how involved they want to be, and it’s perfectly fine to step away if it feels too much.
Above all, remind them that it’s okay to feel a mix of emotions: happiness, sadness, or confusion, during celebration times. Offering empathy and understanding will help them feel secure and seen, no matter how they choose to take part.
When foster families celebrate cultural and religious occasions with understanding and sensitivity, they do more than honour tradition; they build trust, connection, and belonging. By giving children space to express their feelings and be part of the celebration in their own way, you’re helping them create new, positive memories that support healing and strengthen their sense of identity.
