Rediscovering Faith: Supporting a Foster Child Through Religious Trauma
For some children in care, faith is a source of strength. For others, it may be linked to trauma. In this blog, we explore what religious trauma is, how it can affect foster children, and how foster parents can offer compassionate, non-judgmental support as children rebuild their identity and rediscover their faith.
Faith can be a truly beautiful thing – it can answer profound questions about life, bring us comfort in difficult times, and give us hope for the future. And for children and young people in care who may be living with the trauma of abuse or neglect, their faith could be the only thing they can truly rely on.
But what happens if a child’s experience of religion contributes to their trauma? From feeling scared and ashamed to losing a sense of their identity and meaning, religious trauma can have a significant impact on children and young people’s well-being.
But what is religious trauma, and how, as a foster parent, can you support children in your care to recover from its effects and rediscover their faith?
Join us as we explore this frequently overlooked form of trauma in more depth.
What is religious trauma?
Religious communities and their teachings can be extremely powerful – they give people a sense of purpose, belonging, and the comfort of a higher power that’s looking out for them. But the way children and young people feel about their faith depends on how the message is delivered and whether it’s appropriate for their age.
For example, if a child grows up in a religious community that emphasises fear-based teachings, it could impact their sense of safety. If they’re chastised for asking questions about their faith, which is a normal part of development, they may learn that it’s easier to keep their thoughts and feelings to themselves. And if members of their community are ostracised for not adhering to strict moral rules, they may fear it could happen to them.
In extreme cases, a child or young person could also experience spiritual abuse. This may look like someone using scripture to justify inflicting harm on someone else, discrimination, or enforcing strict rules.
Over time, these experiences can have a negative impact on a child or young person’s physical, emotional, and psychological well-being, which is also known as religious trauma.
What are the effects of religious trauma?
Religious trauma doesn’t just impact a child’s spiritual well-being; it seeps into every area of their life. From their emotional and physical health to their behaviour and relationships, here is how religious trauma can manifest:
- Overwhelming feelings of guilt, shame, and low self-worth.
- Struggling to trust authority figures, such as religious leaders and teachers.
- Confusion about their identity or where they belong.
- Questioning their faith or rejecting it completely.
- Mental health conditions, such as depression, anxiety, or OCD.
- Difficulty expressing their thoughts and feelings or asking questions.
- Showing big emotions about attending a religious meeting or service.
- Flashbacks, dissociation, or hypervigilance.
Rediscovering faith after religious trauma
Whether you provide short-term fostering or long-term fostering, your support can make a huge difference in helping children recover from religious trauma and rediscover their faith. But how do you do it? Here are our top tips:
Be a good faith role model
One of the best ways you can help a child living with religious trauma is to be a positive role model of their faith and compassion by:
- Inviting your foster child to ask questions and praising their curiosity.
- Demonstrating that you love and accept your foster child for who they are, regardless of whether they engage with their faith or not.
- Listening to their experiences and validating them.
- Allowing them space to discover who they are outside of religion by encouraging them to socialise with people of various backgrounds and explore their interests.
- Helping them feel like part of the family, like they belong.
- Being consistent and supporting the decisions they make about engaging in their faith.
If you don’t share the same faith, your love and unconditional support could help your foster child feel safe to explore their religion again. You could also introduce them to someone of the same faith who can guide them and answer their questions while you’re there to remind them they’re loved and accepted, no matter where their faith journey takes them.
Go at their pace
If you share the same religion as your foster child, you may be eager to help them rediscover their faith. But healing from religious trauma takes time, and jumping right back into religious practices could feel very overwhelming for them.
So go at your foster child’s pace, slowly reintroducing elements of the religion to them; this way, you can find out what feels safe to them and what feels more challenging or scary.
It could also help you better understand their experiences, especially if they’re finding it hard to open up. For example, if they seem okay about exploring prayers but refuse to go to services or meetings, you know where their boundaries lie without them having to explain, which could be painful or triggering for them.
Understand their trauma triggers
Trauma triggers can be anything that reminds someone of a traumatic experience, from smells, tastes and sounds to lighting, people and places. They can be incredibly overwhelming for the person experiencing them and may make them feel like they’re reliving their trauma all over again.
If your foster child is triggered, they may experience fight, flight or freeze, which is the nervous system’s instinctive way of trying to stay safe from a perceived danger. As a result, they might:
- Become agitated, angry, or upset.
- Attempt to remove themselves from the trigger by withdrawing from the conversation or leaving the room.
- Shut down completely by zoning out, going quiet, or just not responding.
It’s important to look beyond their behaviour to understand what’s causing their response. For example, if your young person displays big emotions before attending a spiritual meeting or service, it could be a trigger for them. If they shut down when they meet a religious leader, that person might remind them of someone from their past.
If this happens, you can help them by gently reassuring them that you’re there, they’re safe, and they’re not in trouble. You can also use grounding techniques, such as the 5-4-3-2-1 method, to help calm their nervous system and bring them back to the present.
Once they’re feeling calm and more in control, you can discuss what happened and help them access the right support, so they can continue their faith journey in a way that feels comfortable and safe to them.
Lean on support
At ACS, we’re a community of fostering professionals, supporting each other to make a real difference in the lives of vulnerable children and young people. That’s why, when you foster with us, you’ll have access to our:
- Highly qualified local teams: From social workers and trainers to fostering experts and an accessible management team, our local teams are here to support you with every aspect of foster parent life.
- 24/7 helpline: Fostering isn’t a 9-to-5 role, and neither is our support. We’re here for you day and night.
- Peer group meetings: We regularly organise local support groups where you can meet other foster parents and share your experiences.
- Community resources: We have excellent links to local mosques, synagogues, churches, and other significant community groups that can help you support children on their faith journey.
- Activities and events: From days out and sports to charity events and religious festivals, we organise activities and events throughout the year for your whole family to enjoy.
- Financial support: When you foster with us, you receive a generous fostering allowance that covers the costs of caring for a child, as well as rewarding you for your hard work and dedication.
- Training: Our ongoing foster care training will give you the knowledge, skills, and confidence to care for children living with trauma.
Together, we can support children in their recovery from religious trauma and help them rediscover their faith, so they don’t lose this part of their identity and continue to feel part of their spiritual community.
Start your fostering journey today
Thinking about fostering? Call us on 0800 9177 937 or submit an enquiry form to learn more about faith-based foster care, including what it really means, how to get started, and the support you’ll receive along the way.
